Thursday, October 18, 2012

My legs don't work; my ears are fine (and other annoyances)

"You're such an inspiration!" 
Life in a wheelchair is life... but just in a wheelchair. Of course lots of things are more difficult. If the person who achieves mobility through the wheelchair used to be able-bodied, they obviously had some huge challenges to overcome. But the bottom line is - this is their life. That sounds simple, however it seems to be overlooked by many people.

When my friend with Spina Bifida is spoken to loudly and slowly, she looks up at the speaker and says "My legs don't work, but my ears are just fine."


My friend who is living with a Spinal Cord Injury says that many of the women with whom she works, who are also "in a chair", absolutely hate being told that they are an inspiration - especially by strangers. Imagine, being a wife and mother, shopping for groceries, in your wheelchair, and having a total stranger tell you that you are SUCH an inspiration... They call it the "I" word, as if it's almost a curse word. Think about it from her perspective. What exactly has she inspired you to do? Don't ignore her, but don't say something so empty of meaning. If you're looking for something to say, maybe you can say "Is there anything I can help you with?" She may need something on the top grocery shelf, and your offer would be gratefully received.

More on this tomorrow. Until then, may your eyes be open to the person, and not the chair.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Listen to me, please

As a caregiver, or "personal assistant" as I like to refer to myself, it is very difficult not to be deeply saddened by the hardships suffered by those for whom I care. At this time, my assignment takes me into the long, sad goodbye of ALS.

As the ability to speak becomes impaired, or begins to go away completely, a huge chunk of life's joy is stolen. Consider what it would be like to have a great thought, a funny joke, an observation, to add to the family's conversation at the dinner table - but nobody hears you. Your lips move, and you try to summon the air and the strength to be heard above the clamor, but nobody is watching. Nobody is listening. So you lift your eyebrows and shake your head slightly, two of the movements still allowed by your failing body, and you open your mouth to allow your caregiver to continue to feed you. The thought will pass.

ALS is a deliberate and focused thief. It takes every part of human independence, one function at a time. It does not, however, touch the personality, brain function, or physical sensation.

If you have a family member or friend with ALS, and they are having difficulty communicating, please know how frustrating and degrading this can be. Please, please listen. If they could, without losing that last shred of dignity, they'd plead with you "Listen to me. Please." All too soon they will be silent. The disease is relentless, and like a flood, it seeks out places to destroy. It will destroy the ability to speak. It's just a matter of time.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Hush, now, don't cry

How does the Care Giver stay compassionate and gentle, understanding and sympathetic, but not crumble and fall apart?

This is not an easy thing, and I don't really have an answer for you, but I want to tell you my story.

I am caring for a man far too young to be experiencing the revolt of his body called ALS, or Lou Gehrig's Disease. It's inching forward and stealing his life, one muscle, and one function, at a time. Two of the things this disease has not, and seemingly cannot steal, are his intelligence and his sense of humor.
That video shows the stark reality of what this disease does to the person who has to endure it. I want to do a series of articles on this condition, to help friends of those who have ALS understand a little bit more about what they can do to help them. The person is not the disease. The person is living with it. If you love them, please take the time to learn how you can love them well.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Loving what I do

I sometimes get a little emotional over my work. Especially when I hear reports of elderly abuse or neglect. 


Martha and I were watching the news yesterday, and a report came on regarding a Caregiver who had stomped on the feet of a couple of elderly Dementia clients, and shoved them. My throat immediately felt tight, and anger boiled up. I watched Martha's face. I know she was thinking what I was thinking. Thank God she's safe, and at home.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

What's for lunch?

Martha loves it when I just decide to make something for her, rather than making her figure out what she wants. Here's what we had for lunch yesterday:


Crescent roll sandwiches
Olives and Pickles
Salsa for "dunking"
Chai tea latte

Tip: Purchase whole food crescent roll dough without hydrogenated oil or MSG



Unroll crescent roll dough and separate into triangles. Arrange triangles so they will fit together when one is placed atop the other.


Cut real cheese squares into triangles and place on on half of the dough triangles
Cut non nitrate and nitrite-containing lunch meat into triangles, or gather gently to fit on top of the cheese. I usually just wad up some thinly sliced meat and stuff it on there!
Place the second triangle on the first, stretching a little as needed to form a border you can pinch together well. Place on ungreased baking sheet and bake iin pre-warmed oven at temperature and for time indicated on package, but check often and turn over once or twice during baking. 


Serve with a small dish of salsa for dipping, or with tomato soup. For those with limited use of hands, cutting the sandwich at least in half is helpful.

Accompany with raw vegetables, olives, pickles, or whatever you enjoy. And then - enjoy! 

Friday, April 13, 2012

When Martha Prays

Martha's son died in 1997. He was her firstborn. He, like his father, was a USAF Colonel, and flew those huge jets. He died of a heart attack while still far too young. She confessed, to the caregiver who preceded me, that she had been unable to pray aloud since the death of her beloved son. 


Fast forward to Maundy Thursday at Martha's church. I was honored to accompany her. We brought the wheelchair, and arrived 30 minutes early. the set up was very informal and friendly. 6 - 8 people sat at each round table, and shared plates of food. After the dinner portion, we had Communion, right there at the table. Each person was to pass the Elements and the wine to the next person, and there were words to be repeated. I had to help Martha, due to her severe Arthritis.

Then came the prayer, at the table, holding hands in that circle. My heart skipped for a second, wondering what Martha would do. Would she squeeze my hand, signalling for me to just take my turn? 

Friday, March 9, 2012

Excuse me?

Remember Martha? Private Martha who doesn't like her Caregivers butting into her business and calling her on physical problems?

She has suffered through quite a few surgeries and is actually very strong. Rarely takes pain medication.

A caregiver tried to lift her from the car by jerking on a gait belt. This caused quite a bit of pain in her ribs. I hate gait belts, mostly. But that's beside the point. The pain persisted. She mentioned it to me as we got ready for the morning.

When her home health care nurse was there looking at her abdominal wound, she asked "Do you have any pain anywhere?"

"No!" she says cheerfully.

ehhhh what? So I jump in, helpfully. "What about that pain along your ribcage that you pointed out to me this morning?"

Daggers from the recliner. Oooooo.

But the nurse checks it out and agrees it is an injury from the gait belt. I'm hoping Martha forgives me.

This is much the way any pain, bleeding, digestive upset, etc goes. But I follow my instincts and choose my battles wisely.

Friday, February 24, 2012

When Caregivers go "too far"

I can speak only for myself, but I caregive because I care. Some of my clients have Dementia. My main client does not. I care deeply for them all, and hope to care for them at the level they both require and deserve. Here's the dilemma: How much care is too much?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Another good resource

I endeavor to be the best caregiver I can be. To that end, I am always searching the Internet for resources. Here's one I found today. If you are caring for, living with, or know someone with Alzheimer's or Dementia, please check out this resource.

Here's the link: http://www.eldercareteam.com/public/599.cfm

Friday, January 27, 2012

My Last Outing With The Colonel, Part Three


Ralph's willingness to accompany me into the store was huge, because there had been days it had taken me more than five minutes just to wake him up to take medication during the day, and he had been too weak to brush his own teeth. He was uninterested in all of the routines of life, and found little pleasure in anything. That's why I was so surprised and pleased when he agreed to get on an electric cart and go into the store with me. 

A very nice young man assisted me by bringing the electric cart to the car. I think he was curious to see this 90-year-old man I said was waiting for us. We parked the cart right by his door, and out stepped Ralph, gingerly making his way onto the electric shopping cart. His assistant gave him a quick driving instruction, and off we went. He would zip back and then stop suddenly, adjust, zip forward and stop suddenly, and shout "HELLO!" if he saw anyone within 20 feet of him, on any side. Oh my goodness - this was going to be good.

Fresh fruit and vegetables; our first stop. Lurch, lurch, slam. "What are we doing?"
"Buying fruit, Ralph. What would you like?"
Zip, lurch, slam. "I want some grapefruit. Pick out 4 or 5 nice ones."
Bananas, onions, celery, potatoes... he selected each with delight. Lurch, lurch, slam "HELLOOOOOOO!"  "Honey, I want Instant Breakfast." "Yes, Ralph, we'll get there."

Meat was next. A huge "SALE" sign caught his eye, and he decided they had to have popcorn chicken. Popcorn chicken? Seriously? Ha ha. Okay. One bag. Now on to the steak. "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" (two other customers in the meat department) Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip SLAM. Almost hit me. 

The patient man working in the fish department explained the price difference between the shrimp with tails on, and without tails on. He also helped find the bacon, although I had already shown Ralph where that was. Ralph absolutely loves help. "Beeeep Beeep Beeeeep" as he backs up toward the bacon and away from the shrimp. Lurch  - SLAM. 

OK. Now what? Ah, yes, cheese and milk and eggs...  Ralph is anxious now, and feeling a little agitated about where things are. I, however, am having an amazing and amusing time. We are quite the sight, and I'm not unaware of this. I laugh a lot, and in the paper goods aisle, Ralph smiles up at me and says "Give me a kiss, honey."

As we go, Ralph's basket is getting more and more full. Soon he can't really see over the top of everything. SMACK! He hit the empty cart squarely, and it went flying up the aisle, coming to rest against a display. The crowd parts to watch. He shouts at me "HONEY! You have to clear the way for me!" Then, to the other customers 'HELLO! Coming through!"  We get not one or two, but 8 large rolls of paper towels. An industrial pack of napkins. Laundry soap, two kinds of bread, donuts, Instant Breakfast, milk, cheese... and then, as suddenly as we started, he was simply done.  Racing toward the checkout, he collided with a hanging display along the refrigerated section and dragged it 15 feet or so. This was my fault for overloading his cart. I was having a blast, and he was just determined. The irony of a retired USAF pilot driving this motorized cart didn't escape me. We lurched and slammed our way to the check out. He was sure, because he was in fact THE COLONEL, they'd let him go in the Express lane. Not so, Sir! She apologized, but just didn't have room for the cart full of groceries.

Eventually we ended up with two young men, a full shopping cart, and Ralph on the scooter, out at our car. The young men loaded the car, then assisted getting the cart near the car, and stood by to help Ralph into his seat. He ate this attention up like a Celebrity. As we started to leave, he told me that we needed to hurry home so he could "tee tee". To appreciate how funny this sounds, you'd have to hear it in person. I patted his hand and thanked him for the best adventure I'd had all week. It was now quarter after 7pm. Yes - two and a half hours since we left the condo. I was very worried about Martha, but I had called her twice with updates and I knew she was delighted that Ralph was out and about having an adventure.

One thing that is markedly different since he has hit his decline, is that he rarely laughs anymore. He did smile, though, as we came through the condo door to hurry to the potty. Ralph and Martha called their "HELLOs" to each other, we got him all fixed up, and then back in the wonderful lift chair. We re-counted our adventures after I'd returned to the car to get all the groceries and supplies out and back upstairs. It's a 5-story building, and the process of bringing loads up is interesting. You take the elevator to the 1st floor, which is under ground, and use a shopping cart to load up the stuff and bring it up in the elevator, to your destination. You actually bring the shopping cart right in the condo. It is hard to get used to. But it is efficient!

Ralph was never again strong enough. In four short weeks, Ralph was gone. I will forever treasure my memory of this man, handsome right until the very end, maneuvering his electric cart through Safeway, shouting a warning to anyone within ear shot. 

Thursday, January 26, 2012

My Last Outing With The Colonel, Part Two


Cash in hand, Ralph requested that I go to RiteAid and look for the needed incontinence supplies. I did, leaving him in the car. He went into a coughing fit and I had to run back into the store and get bottled water for him. Disaster averted, we were soon on our way.

 "Don't you need to go to the grocery store?" Ralph asked. "Yes - I thought I'd take you home and then go shopping."
"I want to go."
"You want to go... to the store? Do you feel strong enough?"
"Yes. I'll sit in the car and listen to the radio. It's as comfortable as being at home and I'm not ready to go home yet."

Hmmmm. I thought about the long list I'd been given and how long it would take and how impatient the Colonel is.

We pulled into the parking spot in the Safeway garage, and I thought about it some more. It sounded like a really bad idea to leave this man in the car, unsupervised, when he could go into a coughing and choking fit* any time, or worse. So I said "Hey. How would you like to try an electric cart, and come in with me?"

Surprise! He said "OK!"

*In the weeks leading up to Ralph's death, he would often fall into a choking fit which would end in violent retching. It was horrible. I carried the monitor with me at all times, when not in the same room as Ralph

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

My Last Outing With The Colonel

Part One. The story takes place in January, 2011. Almost exactly one year ago. Remembering this story warms and breaks my heart at the same time. I will tell it in several parts, as it is a long story. 


"We won't discuss Thursday. Thursday was one of those days that seemed to have no end and was so full of stress and pressure I felt my temples pounding. There are bound to be days like that, but I will be forever grateful if they're few and far between. Suffice it to say, I was treated as if I were just slightly less than a servant with no brain - ALL DAY. Then came Friday. Friday found the Colonel deeply apologetic over how I was treated on Thursday. With frequent tears, and sincere hand grasps, he expressed sorrow over and over, and really tried to be more pleasant. I don't know what changed between Tuesday and Thursday, but the renewed strength and stamina had all of us amazed. He was able to transfer in and out of his chair, wheelchair, bed, commode... exceptionally well. He ate, drank, talked, and didn't sleep the days away. I guess we will have some "up" days mixed in among the down...

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Can an 89-year-old run?

Oh, yes. This is the father of a friend of mine. I met her through our wonderful Nutrition company. Her father is consuming this complete nutrition. Here's the video.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Surprising Rose

Today was an unexpected day of working with my "Tuesday" client. She's almost 96, and has Dementia. We get along famously - now don't read anything into that!

Today she was very weak, but we had a hilarious moment and a very sweet moment. Oh! And a scary moment.

Got her up around 11, and, as I said, she was very weak. She was resistant to have a shower, and responded to that information with her trademark "Ah, nuts." I love that, and somewhere in her memory she knows it. At the end of the shower I wrapped her in no fewer than 4 hot towels, and she was so happy. She loved that I gave her a shoulder massage through the towel around her shoulders. She said she would just sit there under those towels all day.

I got an outfit from her closet which was really bright and pretty. I'd never seen her wear it. She looked at it and said "I've never seen that before". Well, she's never seen anything before - with that goldfish memory of Dementia. I said it was well hidden in the back of the closet, and she'd most likely forgotten it was even there. "No, no... I just don't think I've seen it before. Are you sure it's mine?"
"I'm sure!"
"I don't know..."
"Yes, it's yours - just probably one you haven't worn for a while."
"I don't think it's mine."
I pulled it over her head and she put her arms into the sleeves. As her hand came out of the right sleeve, so did a huge wad of facial tissues.
"It's mine!" she announced, happily.

Memory Lane

Like to shop online? Find a magazine from your elder's youth, and buy it. You may find old advertisements, etc, available individually for not a lot of money. Surprise them with a blast from their past. Let them tell you about it.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Ham And Cheese Sandwiches

First of all, I don't eat ham! But I know a lot of people do, so feel free to use the meat of your choice in this recipe idea. I've mostly used turkey.

Ingredients:

  • Crescent-style rolls 
  • Sliced natural lunch meat of choice
  • Sliced cheese of choice
Heat oven as directed on crescent roll dough package. 

Pull the crescent roll dough out into a large rectangle, and separate at perforations, into triangles. Cut cheese squares into halves, to form two triangles. Cut lunch meat the same way. 

Place one triangle of cheese onto one triangle of dough, follow with meat, then one more triangle of cheese. Place another triangle of dough on top, and press edges together, forming a pocket sandwich. Repeat with all of the dough. 

Place sandwiches on cookie sheet, and bake in accordance with directions on the dough container. You may "flip" about halfway through. Cook until nicely browned. 

These are beyond amazing served with hot tomato soup. If your elder suffers from any kind of tremor, serve the soup in a wide light-weight mug with a large handle. Encourage "dipping". 

Most elderly people will find that one of these sandwiches is more than enough! They're rich. 

(I look for dough which is does not contain hydrogenated oil or any other poisons in it. Whole wheat would be best, if it's available) 


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Showering an Elderly Person - a Step by Step Guide

Showering an elderly person can be challenging when it's something you're not used to. I learned "on the job", because the training for this was very brief. Keep them safe; yep, I get that. Keep them feeling dignified. Gotcha. But... HOW do you do it?

It will be different if you are dealing with someone with Dementia. The person who does not have Dementia already realizes what is going to happen. In that case, what you say AND how you go about your duties will make or break the situation. If the person has Dementia, both tell them, and illustrate with body motions, what you are about to do. 


Friday, January 20, 2012

To Do Together - Making no-cook Treats

I was searching for a recipe for "edible dough" - as in a play dough substitute. The ones I have seen are peanut butter. This recipe from www.cooks.com came as a surprise! Although they include food color, I personally wouldn't use it unless it was 100% natural. Why toxify your elder?

Make a batch of this super easy-to-make dough, and then have fun creating little treats with your elderly charge. If you get really creative, you may melt semi-sweet chocolate and dip your finished product, to create chocolate covered mints.


UNCOOKED MINT CANDIES OR EDIBLE PLAY DOUGH
Printed from COOKS.COM

1 brick (8 oz.) cream cheese
1 lb. powdered sugar
2 to 3 drops peppermint or spearmint oil
Few drops food coloring
To make candy: Press into candy molds; roll out and cut with tiny cookie cutters; or shape with hands into balls or wreaths.If using as play dough, keep in a tightly closed container.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mike Rowe Speaks To Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee

Wonderful video of Mike Rowe, and his testimony to his Grandfather. 

 http://youtu.be/3h_pp8CHEQ0  

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Help Your Elder's Digestive System With Probiotics

Has your elderly charge been on a round of Antibiotics? Just look at the word, and you can see that, although the doctor may have thought it was necessary, you'll want to correct and balance the digestive system. Anti = Against. Biotic = Life. 


It is advisable for the elderly to consume probiotics on a daily basis. Choose wisely, and don't be fooled by advertising which touts certain sugar-filled, processed foods as "probiotic".


Many illnesses are worsened by an abnormal ratio of intestinal bacteria, usually caused by poor diet or toxins. A diet rich in probiotic foods is known improve gut health, thereby engendering longer life, aiding the body’s production of vitamins, helping to break down toxic substances, elevating mood, improving glucose metabolism, 


Here is a good list of foods which will actually benefit the intestinal flora:

  • Kefir - like drinkable yogurt
  • Yogurt
  • Raw Cheese
  • Sauerkraut
  • Coconut Kefir
  • Miso 
Miso has also been beneficial in overcoming a bout of diarrhea. Yogurt and kefir should always be purchased at a health food store, or a high-quality grocery store where organic and preferably raw products are sold. Don't believe everything you see on those television commercials! Read the label. 

The company I represent has several products with pre and probiotics. Click one of the links if you would like further information. 

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Activites You Can Do Together

I found a great website with ideas for crafts and activities Elderly people can enjoy. It's totally free. Check it out by clicking here.

Ruth

Saturday, January 14, 2012

To Soup, or not to soup

Soup is comfort food, and this is the time of year when it seems like exactly the right thing to make. It can be... unless your elderly person has trouble bringing food to their mouth without spilling. In that case, eating soup can turn into a disaster, and prove to be humiliating.

Cream-style soups, made very thick, can prove to be a good option. Try making cream of potato soup. It's super easy, delicous, and can be healthful.

Chop onion and celery, and carrots if you like.
Saute in coconut oil with garlic until tender
Add diced potato, and vegetable broth, just covering vegetables
Simmer until potatoes are tender
Stir in coconut milk, and add salt and pepper to taste

Make this soup very, very thick. You may top with shredded cheese for a treat. Serve with a large spoon, and some crusty bread.

Friday, January 13, 2012

I made your bed, now you can lie in it

Making the bed of an elderly person can be a chore - especially if they suffer from overnight incontenence. Here's a trick I implemented which worked very well.

Strip the bed down to the mattress. Take two extra large disposable underpads, and tape them to the mattress so that they are centered under where the person's bottom will rest. (Sounds like a "duh", but all of my clients lie in their beds very differently!) Make sure you secure all sides to avoid bunching. Next, put on the mattress pad. On this, also, place two underpads, taped securely. Cover this with a fitted sheet with one extra large underpad taped to it. On top of this, place a second fitted sheet, protected in the same manner. Then make the bed. If the incontenent person suffers a breakthrough in the night, simply pull off the top fitted sheet, exposing the clean one. If you experience 2-3 changes a night, just increase the layers.

Rubber sheets are a good thing to use, also. I do not recommend covering the entire mattress with plastic, as this promotes unhealthy sweating and may contribute to skin breakdown.

Water for Elderly, not Elephants

The human brain is 77 - 78% water. Dehydration in the elderly is serious, and possibly fatal. Let's make it easy for them to get the needed water. By the way - in my opinion water is the best, if not only, source of hydration. You may add a small amount of sea salt to the water to increase the hydrating effect. Here is the recipe:

How much salt should you take? F. Batmanghelidj M.D. suggests:

1/8 tsp of salt (unrefined sea salt is best) for every 16 oz (half a liter) of water we drink. Use ½ tsp of salt for every half a gallon of water and a full tsp of salt for one gallon of water. This is not to say that mixing the salt into the water is the best way to consume it. In the case of an elderly person, who will not know to or remember to take the salt directly on the tongue, it can be mixed. I would make a 16 ounce supply, and split it into two servings. If you are caregiving for the person, place 1/8 tsp of salt directly onto the tip of the tongue, and make sure the patient tastes it. Then have them drink the water, "washing" the salt down. In cases where there is no Dementia or other mental impairment, this simple routine can be taught. Few elderly will consume a gallon of water a day, however a half gallon is reasonable.
This "recipe" is attributed to curing an impressive number of ailments.
Many elderly are reluctant to drink. Is there a fear of looking stupid by not having the strength to lift the glass? Are they suffering from hands shaking? Is the huge glass intimidating? Do they resist having to go to the bathroom too often? The bathroom issue is tough to overcome, but you should make the dangers of dehydration very, very clear.

For ease of handling, and visual apeal, I use brightly colored, plastic, "Old Fashioned" style cups. These are available at large variety stores, appropriate for the season. You may also find great drinking cups on caregiving supply sites. Some have splash guards (for shaking).

Encourage your elderly charge that you would rather help them to the bathroom, than take them to the emergency room!

Tips:
Cucumber flavors water enough to make it more appealing. Lemon is good, as well. Ice is sometimes a welcome addition.

Friday, January 6, 2012

We Thought He Was Sleeping

This little story was written about five weeks before the Colonel died. I can't help but get misty-eyed even now, as I read my memories from that time. 


Ralph sleeps more and more. Some days I feel that he's only awake for an hour or so. The body reserves energy for what is vital, they say. I was worried about it, but I went to the grocery store this afternoon as Ralph slept in his chair. I had changed him, made him comfortable, and he was somewhere far away... Martha assured me that they'd be fine. I brought back a really nice, large, sweet potato, among other things. When I arrived, Ralph was still sleeping, mouth open wide, head tilted back. I always look at his chest to check for breathing. Ah, yes. Breathing. Martha and I talked in hushed tones. I described what I had purchased, and we settled the money part of things. Then I said, softly, "I thought I'd make a sweet potato..." and Ralph suddenly said "I want a sweet potato! Lots of butter."

Well, okay then! Martha and I had a good laugh.

Sadly, his desire for sweet potato was desire only. His body rejected the actual delicious treat dripping with butter and dressed with sea salt. Oh, it's not that he didn't try. He gave it his best try.

Ralph is ever more confused. Yesterday he put after shave on his hair. I thought... well? That will smell nice. He often asks how to proceed when taking pills. Today he woke for a moment, blurted out "What are we doing??" and fell back to sleep promptly. When I woke him to go to the back for a change, I sat beside hiim and held his hand until he came around. It took a while. I realize things are winding down. When we were in the bathroom, he started an old familiar sentence. I was happy, because it was like he was "back". He said "How are we fixed for...." and then fell silent. I asked "For??" and he said "I don't know what I was going to say."
He never asks about the groceries anymore. Never asks after the stock of tissues or toilet paper. He wants to know if the plants have been watered. He asks that often. He wants to know if the window is closed. He requests the strangest things, and it's hard to imagine why they even matter. It is one of the saddest things I have ever watched. Still, those brilliant blue eyes look up at me under bushy eyebrows, and sometimes - just sometimes - I get the little grin.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ah, Nuts!

We skipped the morning shower because I had to run an errand, early, and there simply wasn't time. She was fine with that. She has Dementia, so all of this was destined to be forgotten anyway. In the afternoon I waited for an "opportune moment" to bring up the shower plan. I'd let her skip from time to time, but her live-in caregiver really wants her to shower daily. It's a nice time for her, relaxing and enjoyable, so I go along and we do get that shower each day I'm there. She had to go to the bathroom, so I figured that was the opportune moment!



Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Laughter as Medicine

I have so many sweet memories of Ralph's care...


Once, during one of the several trips to the commode, I was applying ointment to two angry-looking sores on Ralph's bottom line. Running out of the household supply, I opened the new tube brought by a Hospice aide earlier that day. As I spread it on his ... involved area.... I said "Wow, this stuff smells good!" Then without thinking I added "Kinda seems like a waste."  He burst out with that old familiar booming laugh and said "You are the cutest woman I didn't marry."




Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Hilarious

I took Rose to her foot doctor this week. After that little outing, I plan to take more pleasure trips with her. It was delightful!!! Sad that family members miss out on this little feisty lady's jokes.


We were driving in a commercial area, and she was reading signs. Out loud she read, from the side of a restaurant, "Dine in and carry out". Then she laughed and said "How bad must THAT food be?" 


Funny thing; Dementia. It's a thief, but sometimes misses little treasures left in the corners of the mind. 


We both laughed hysterically about this joke - which was forgotten by her nearly immediately. In fact, just an hour or so later, she had forgotten that we even went to the doctor. 

Monday, January 2, 2012

Intermittent Showers

"How is Martha doing?"
That's a question I hear often. So many people have come to know and love a couple they've never met, whose real names are never revealed.

Martha walks a little more slowly now. She is often surprised by sudden tears as a memory reaches out and grabs her by the heart. Simple things like eating dinner at the table are all but impossible to bear. Facing her empty bedroom, with one neatly made and undisturbed bed by the window, causes her waves of pain. Sometimes the name of a friend will elude her, and she thinks "Oh, Ralph will know..." and then she remembers that he is truly gone, and she cries.

In between, we share stories and laughter and good times with family.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Words of Comfort from the Bible

Barnes' Notes on the Bible
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints - Of his people; his friends. Luther renders this, "The death of his saints is held to be of value" - (ist werth gehalten) - "before the Lord." The word rendered "precious" - יקר yâqâr - means costly, as precious stones, 1 Kings 10:2, 1 Kings 10:10-11; dear, beloved, as relatives and friends, Psalm 45:9; honored, respected, Ecclesiastes 10:1; splendid, beautiful, Job 31:26; rare, 1 Samuel 3:1. The idea here is, that the death of saints is an object of value; that God regards it as of importance; that it is connected with his great plans, and that there are great purposes to be accomplished by it. The idea here seems to be that the death of a good man is in itself of so much importance, and so connected with the glory of God and the accomplishment of his purposes, that he will not cause it to take place except in circumstances, at times, and in a manner, which will best secure those ends