When Caregivers go "too far"

I can speak only for myself, but I caregive because I care. Some of my clients have Dementia. My main client does not. I care deeply for them all, and hope to care for them at the level they both require and deserve. Here's the dilemma: How much care is too much?

Martha has a few physical problems, and a very strong mind. She lies. Yes, she does. Once when I had her at the clinic for her blood draw to check her clotting time, she was asked "Have you had diarrhea recently?" to which she replied "No."
What???? What the heck did I clean up from your bathroom floor yesterday morning?
Do I correct her? Do I sit there and smile, silently? I chose "B": sit there and smile silently. I decided correcting her would be going too far.

Her denial, however, eventually led to a colostomy. Now we get to care for her ostomy bag several times a day. So... in not going "too far", did I maybe not go far enough? Not that the technician would have done anything about the diarrhea, but had I brought this to the attention of her health care provider, perhaps the problem would have been discovered soon enough for something to be done, which was far less invasive than the colostomy.


She has expressed anger, many many times, toward a caregiver who got into her business and reported issues to the Agency for which we work, or to the family directly.


How do you preserve the client or patient's pride, while caring for them in the best way you possibly can?

I'm actually asking for input here.

Yesterday was one of those days, and I will post the story tomorrow. Meanwhile, I'm hoping to hear from a few people who have been in my shoes, who might have some advice to give.