Depression in Seniors

As their world closes in on them, they become depressed. Wouldn't you? If you found yourself unable to do what you used to do, shut out of conversations because you can no longer follow what's being said, and being very much alone when you used to be surrounded by family... wouldn't that cause you to be a little bit sad?

Add to that the fog of Dementia. I am convinced that many of those with Dementia and/or Alzheimer's, know that they've "lost it". They know this on one level or another. I cried when I watched the video for the song 'I'm Not Me Anymore'. I cry every single time. This loss of self is very great. If you have an elderly parent or loved one who is walking the lonely path of losing themselves, please accept that they are grieving, and will grieve, and may even take this out on you. Get their vitamin levels checked, make sure they are getting adequate nourishment and hydration, and love them where they are and "when" they are.

If you'd like, you may read about how my day with Rose went, yesterday...



Yesterday was a "good" day for Rose. She awoke confused but happy, and even undressed herself for her shower. While I know she doesn't necessarily remember "me", she always is peaceful and relaxed with my care. She remembers feeling okay - and that's my highest goal.


We sat in the bright dining room in her home, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. Dementia is a personal journey. There is never "the usual" day, or progression. But if Rose opens the newspaper and reads a disturbing headline, I can generally count on about an hour of that headline being read to me, every 2 - 3 minutes, with drama and intensity. Yesterday it was a story about a 21-year-old, acting as his own attorney, wanting to question several young accusers who say he raped them, and pimped them. "Where were his parents?" she wanted to know over and over, as she shook her head. It's so much like the movie 'Groundhog Day' - she turns the paper over and sees that headline for the first time. Again. And again. So I react each time as if it's the first time I have heard it, too. It's a game. It's acting. It can be fun, if you have the right attitude. 


I removed her nail polish, and we chatted about the birds and squirrels on the deck. I make sure to use the words "the deck" rather than "your deck" because I'm never sure where she thinks she is. She's obsessed by the skylights on the homes she can see through her wall of glass. Her home is on a hill above Puget sound - a beautiful vantage point. Every single shift, I tell her that I have skylights in three of the rooms in my home. She's fascinated by this. She always asks if anyone peeks into the ones in the bathroom. "Just birds", I always reply. She laughs. Every time. 


Rose is in there - somewhere. She's broken. She's not "her" anymore. But she's in there. Keeping up with her delusions is tricky sometimes. Yesterday the people on TV were talking to me, evidently, and she was having a hard time keeping up with what they said while I cooked dinner, so she could relay the information to me. She wondered when "they" were coming. I said "You know - I didn't really pay attention! Sometimes I just tune out while someone is talking to me." That satisfied her. 


Yesterday she asked again, as she does each shift, multiple times, if her live-in caregiver was running errands, and when she'd be back. BUT - yesterday she followed that question with an amazing compliment. She said "Well, she picked a good replacement." Whoa. What? I just smiled, and took her dinner tray... Our day together was coming to a close. I put her PJs and robe into the dryer to warm them up. Depressed? As far as I am able to prevent it - not on my watch.