Walking With Don

He likes to act like it's a chore, and a drudgery, to take those walks. His eyes say otherwise. He pulls on his baseball cap, and does his best to get into his jacket without help. I step in at the moment he begins to exhibit frustration.







We go the same route each day. With Dementia it's not so much about variety - it's about safety and familiarity. Some of what I do isn't due to training, but due to watching the results in my treasured charges. Don responds well when we start our walks by observing their yard. This helps me know where he is that day. Is he in the present, knowing he has lived in this house for 50 years, or is he confused and thinking this isn't his house? Knowing that helps me help him. I ask open ended questions. I assume nothing.



We walk to the left, down the hill. The road curves to the left at the bottom of the hill, about 3 houses down. We generally walk 2-3 blocks. Sometimes we encounter neighbors along the way, and Don always calls out to them, cheerfully. Today Rick was working in his yard, pulling up dead plants. Don began speaking to him, but Dementia had the upper hand today, and much of what he said was disconnected and made little sense. The neighbor ignored this, and made a great effort to understand.


 Jim came out of his house to shake both our hands and have a conversation. He encouraged Don and told him "You're doing great". He didn't seem shaken when Don described "felling the trees" and bruising his hips. Don gestured around at the tall pines when he said this. I don't know if Jim had a clue as to what Don was telling him. It's been on Don's mind, lately, that he once fell under a tree and I helped him up. This happened in August.

Often, on our walks, Don is reminded of a story. He launches into it with great excitement. "Do you know where he was born?" he asks me, regarding the owner of one of the homes. Of course I don't, and shake my head. "Well, there are three."
"Three?"
"Next to each other. Three.... um..... next to each other."
"Countries?"
"YES!"
"They're near Russia. But I don't know."
"Ok - like Estonia?"
"Yes, that's one of the three."



Our conversations go like this much of the time. I search my memory banks to fill in his memory blanks. I just made that phrase up. It's clever, right?


Today I was really put to the test. He had LOTS of stories, all with huge blanks. I told his wife it was like reading a book with some words blacked out or pages missing. But he enjoys telling the stories, so much, that he just powers through.




When we started to approach the house, he was visibly tired. I helped him up the front steps, and he said "Thank you for taking me out there." I smiled. He paused, then said "And - thank you for bringing me back. That was even more important." We laughed.






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