The Present

I arrived on Tuesday to find the house unusually busy. I was greeted by the little dog that belongs to their daughter. The eldest son was there, and a visiting home nurse was on the way. I had NO idea what was in store for me. I really never do...

Eldest son, Don Jr, felt a need to vent. I, of course, was conveniently located in the kitchen and had an invisible sign that said "Vent Here". So, now I know the rest of the story! But back up a bit. Don and Don Jr were seated in the family room when I first got there, and I could hear a lively conversation. It seemed centered around the place where Don Sr had grown up. It was good to hear him so happy. I had a quick briefing with Ella, and dove into my "PLEASE DO" list right away. See - that's still bugging me. When the visiting nurse arrived is when Don Jr found me in the kitchen and gave me the condensed version of their history.

It was a tale of conflict and stress and the desire for perfection. It was a testimony to a controlling mother who can't abide having the grand children in her home due to the mess that creates. I lost track of my "ah ha" moments during that conversation. My response? Nod, smile, and say "Mmmm hmmm". Every single thing he told me stays locked inside the vault. Mom will never know.

This conversation they'd been having in the living room, about the place Don Sr grew up, wasn't a reminiscing time for Don - it was in his current reality. His son is unusually smart and joined Don in that reality and cheerfully discussed the cows, the house, and Don's own mother. Don's mother has become a topic of his conversations and questions daily now. Don Jr wants to take his dad on a day trip - driving out to the place he grew up and visiting his sister. Ella is very opposed to this. Why? There is no logical reason.

What Don Jr asked me was, in my "professional opinion", if it would be a good idea to make this trip. Should he wait, he asked, until his dad is more "medically stable"? What does that even mean? His dad is rapidly losing a battle with Vascular Dementia. Here is my answer, just as I gave it to Don Jr:
"Not only is there 'No Time Like the Present' - there is no time BUT the present, for you. Make memories with your dad, not regrets."

If you have a parent or loved one with this vicious thief of a disease, redeem the days. Visit today. Join them in their journey. It's unfamiliar to you, but when you join them, it's less scary for them.

Your gift to your loved one. The Present.