Welcome to Your Life - Dementia

Dementia is Scary.

What if you woke up one day, and discovered you were in a place you'd never seen before? What if a friendly, but unknown-to-you person cheerfully entered the room in which you had been sleeping, and announced that it was time to take your medication; handing you a little glass filled with pills you had never seen and could not identify? What if that person urged you to get up, even though you could not remember having slept at all, and proceeded to take you to the toilet, expecting you to allow them to remove your underclothes?

In your mind, you are fully capable of caring for yourself. You do not know why some stranger feels it is appropriate to attend to your most personal of duties.

The stranger may indicate that you've soiled your clothing, and add insult to injury by preparing to give you a shower. "I don't know why you're here. I can take my own shower!" you say, as she smiles and reassures you that it will be okay. In your mind, you may be 25 years old, and the actions of this kind stranger may frustrate or anger you. Something in her demeanor, though, makes you understand that she means well, and you go along with her because you have a feeling it is what you should do. She is speaking in low tones, respectful and gentle, and soon you do realize this is familiar.  Still, having your clothes taken off of you, and being led into the shower and washed, can feel humiliating. You may feel sad, as if you've been lost or abandoned. You wonder where your family is, and how you ended up in this strange place.

Welcome to Dementia Land.

Five minutes after you've gone to the bathroom, you forget that you've gone. It's been hours, you think. Same with breakfast. You have absolutely no memory of having eaten breakfast, and wonder if these strange people will allow you to starve. You repeat over and over that you just want to go home. The stranger smiles, pats your hand, and mumbles something you don't understand.

Here's the thing that's amazing. In spite of all of that, it is possible for this person to feel secure, loved, and cared for. You teach your caregivers patience, and the reward they get is that wonderful, sly smile. If they're lucky, they even get a laugh.